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In this episode, Cesar tells Traci that she sucks! Then they talk about 7 ways to lessen the sting of criticism and not take it personally.
The 7 ways are:
- Stop worrying about what other people think.
“No one can make your feel inferior without your permission.” Eleanor Roosevelt
Agreement #2 in Don Miguel Ruiz’s book, The Four Agreements, is “Don’t take anything personally”
- Stop giving your power away.
You can learn a little more about this in episode 105.
- Question your beliefs
We often have a lot of beliefs and make a lot of assumptions that cause us to feel criticized even if we are being criticized.
Example: If I greet someone, they have to greet me back. – If they don’t return my greeting, they’re being disrespectful. – If they’re disrespectful, it’s because they think that I’m not worthy of respect. – If people think I’m not worthy of respect, then they think I’m worthless. – If people think I’m worthless, then maybe I am.
- Be too busy to care
Be so focused on the value that you want to create in the world that criticism is viewed as feedback and fuel for success.
The next time you’re tempted to rehash a conversation that left you feeling as if you had been belittled, tell yourself: “I’m too busy for this. I have far more productive things to do with my time than sit here, thinking about this.”
- Create a space between you and your response
This is where the practice of mindfulness that we talked about in episode 101 can really help. Being able to recognize your thinking between the stimulus and the reaction… finding that sliver of time where you are at choice.
Your initial response might be to react emotionally. If possible, don’t follow that knee jerk reaction. Take the time to rein in your emotions and assess what’s really happening before you respond. In general, it’s a good idea to create a healthy personal space around yourself.
- Practice a growth mindset
We talked about this in episode 102. Your perspective of criticism is based on YOUR mindset – not the criticizers. When you take feedback or criticism personally, it’s a reflection of how YOU feel about you – not how they feel about you. If you believe you’re a human doing and have not tapped into your “being”, you will always feel “less than” or not good enough.
- Have a BIG purpose
When you know your “Why”, what others think won’t matter.
Your worth as a human being isn’t determined by what you do. You are unique, priceless, irreplaceable and beautiful just as you are, because you “are”. No one can take that intrinsic, infinite value away from you without your permission. Stop giving the criticizers permission to make you feel less than.
Please let us know how you handle criticism in the comments below!
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